A moment of vulnerability
by Gothicruby
Summary: So fascinating, how we can let our guard down in some places, yet keep it firm in others. Those situations that seem to trusting, may be as decieving as a light massage...NnyDevi


**A moment of vulnerability **

She panicked. Well that was an understatement; she didn't so much panic as scream in enraged terror and sprint down the street. She needed to get away, away from him. She couldn't believe he'd bumped into her; hell, she couldn't believe she'd allow her defenses to drop so low that he even came **close** to her. She couldn't forgive him, not after what he'd done…or what he would have done had she not reacted to his advance. She could still remember it…the manic grin on his face combined with the smooth, razor sharpness of the twin blades he'd held in his hand…horrible.

She sprinted, sprinted far away, away from the memory, away from the terror, but most importantly, away from one Johnny C.

She'd been so involved in her terror that she didn't realize the building she'd fled into--a health spa. So ironic considering how she felt; sick and insane…

Still…a spa…a place of relaxation…perhaps, if nothing else, she could be provided with some emotional tension release? What could it possibly hurt?

He couldn't believe it; she was right there, **right there! **And he'd let her slip away. Oh, how could he not have reacted sooner? Why hadn't he? That was his perfect opportunity to at least try to make amends with her, to ease the salt out of the ever bleeding wounds, and he'd just let it skip right by him.

And now, here he was, bloody **lost** in this stinking maze of public use: inside a health spa of all places! It was fascinating really, how people could be so resistant to each other when out in public, yet when faced with a supposedly official place of intimacy and social contact, they immediately dropped their guard and allowed them to be touched and mauled and god knows what else!

Still…she was here. And why even enter the vile place if he didn't even intend to talk to her?

The purple haired girl sighed as she laid face down on the table. Too much…it was just too much seeing him again. She doubted she'd ever be able to venture outside comfortably again, nor would she be able to return to a social environment such as this. She knew…she just knew that not only would this be her first visit to an official spa, but it may be her last also. Didn't life just have a funny sense of sick irony?

Her eyes closed briefly, yet snapped open twice as fast at what she heard.

Footsteps…footsteps encased in boots…leather boots…steel-toed leather boots….

She paled considerably. She knew that sound. It was him coming for her. Her muscles tensed as she sharply dug her nails into her palm and remained in this position for what seemed like an eternity, despite the fact that the footsteps had long since subsided.

She near-enough screamed when she felt a pair of gloved hands on her back; yet slowly releasing a breath when she felt them gently easing into her shoulder blades…

Though her heart was still racing, she couldn't help but relax her muscles and allow herself to be rendered momentarily numb.

Why couldn't she stop thinking of him? Why? Of course he'd been sweet, and deep thinking and overall a wonderful person to be associated with up to the point of the incident. But he terrified her; he'd buried into her deeper than the hands that massaged her and from there, let his poison ooze out making her sicker than she'd ever been.

She glared slightly…thinking back to his words…_immortalizing the moment._ Why?

Why that phrase?

Why that tone?

Why that in general?

Why did he feel like he needed to do that?

Grunting as her sides were gently ebbed into, she couldn't help but think…he'd been so shy when she'd asked him out. He had such an innocent, childish aura following him.

That had been her first major life lesson; looks can be deceiving. Nothing was ever as safe as it seemed.

She groaned in pleasure, shivering slightly as her neck was released of its tension. Her head eased gently over the edge of the table, like a medieval victim preparing to be beheaded.

And that was a move she instantly regretted…as her eyes leaked open, her mind instantly screamed at what she saw. A pair of thick, black, steel-toed boots stared her in the face, and with it, a shimmering, sharpened blade dropped instantly.

She took her opportunity and instantly sat up, covering herself with the thick towel.

"Nny!" her emerald eyes, wide in anger and fear, stared at the frail, emaciated form before her.

His head was lowered, causing his blackish, blue tinted hair to fall over his sunken, unhealthy eyes. She blinked, concentrating on him…he looked so defeated…so…helpless…when she looked closer she could see tears streaming down his pale, bony cheeks. He was crying.

"I couldn't do it…" his voice was still as young as it sounded; giving him the image of an older teenager. Though that couldn't possibly be…not literally of course.

"Wh-What…" her voice was almost lost completely to the world

"I couldn't do it…" he repeated, raising his tearful eyes to look at her "I saw you…so helpless, and defenseless…so eager to immediately lay the very essence of your life's worth of trust into the skillful hands of another-a man perhaps, and I hated it…" he paused, swallowing as a small sob caught in his throat "I hated it, because I knew that it would never be me that you'd trust so much…so I listened. To those voices, I just listened so closely this time…and for the first time, the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to touch…" those sorrow filled eyes stared right into her terrified ones "I finally allowed myself to touch…such a pure thing, tainted with my original intentions…"

"What…What intentions?" the girl squeaked almost inaudibly

"I was going to finish it Devi…I was going to listen to what they said, the voices, I was going to once more immortalize the moment…to keep the wonderful mood we had just now, when I was touching you, going. But I couldn't…I just couldn't…" he paused once more as stronger sobs surfaced "I couldn't kill you, because I can't obliterate what I feel for you…." A second knife dropped from his hands as the stronger tears flowed. She eyed him cautiously as he moved towards the door "I realized…" another sob escaped him, more violent than the former could ever be "I love you Devi. I always have, and always will…" tears streamed down his face almost as violently as he killed "And no amount of merciless killing will ever change that!" With another, more frightening wail, he exited at top speed.

And as he did so, she realized. She realized that she'd just witnessed her very emotions spill out in front of her with his words. She realized that when she'd been running; she hadn't been running from him…

…But from the fact that she returned his feelings….

_The end. _


End file.
